Well, it's been almost a month since we posted. The two of us have been insanely busy with work projects and travel and so on... and yet it still seems like some weeks drag on while we try to remain patient.
A little over a week ago, I called our adoption agency and explained (while trying to sound normal) that we had been told at our home study that the social worker saw no reason that we would not be put "on the shelf" to be a potential selection for a birth mother, and a while afterwards we attended our last training session which meant we should be available to an even wider percentage of birth mothers... but that no one had actually specifically said, "You are on the shelf."
And of course, we assumed that we were, but we would have hated for an assumption to have led to an unnecessary delay.
The lady assured me that we were indeed on the shelf. She even mentioned that she had seen our scrapbook, and that it was very good.
We know that the average wait can be 15-18 months once you're on the shelf, and frankly I'm not sure what we would DO if the call came in tomorrow that a birth mother wanted to meet us. But we're basically at the point now where there's really nothing left for us to DO to try to push things forward.
We're waiting. And we're continuing to stay busy and focused on life and family and friends. We're not wasting away with impatience. But every now and then, when someone asks how things are going, or when we see someone else's very young child, or when I forget to try to forget... it's hard.
It will be worth it in the end, I know. But for now, it's hard.
--David
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
The past month
Since the homestudy, I think we've been decompressing a little bit. The house was never cleaner than it was for the homestudy, and it's been kind of a disaster ever since. Well, not that bad, but we've been a little lax about things!
On Saturday 10/3, we attended the transracial transcultural training seminar that our agency requires for all prospective parents looking to adopt a child from a race that is not their own. Grandparents are also encouraged to attend, so my mom & dad came along for the day. Some of what they talked about we had already heard in other meetings, but there was plenty of new info and things to think about. The best part of the day in my opinion was the panel of adult adoptees who had grown up in multi-racial families. I could have listened to them talk all day long.
We have not made much more progress on finishing the nursery. There are wallpaper cut outs to be installed, an outlet to replace, shelves to build, paint, and install in the closet, curtains and a light fixture to be bought & hung, a wall hanging to make, and I have to get started on a quilt. I have made a quilt for a lot of my friend's little ones, and I have got to make one for my own baby. I have one to finish still for a little guy that made his arrival in July (yikes!), and I need to make one (or three?) more for a friend (friends?) depending on how ambitious I am feeling.
Last Saturday, we went and registered at two stores. It was so fun! We were at the first place for nearly 3 hours. It was a little overwhelming at times, but we still had a great time. The staff was really helpful and offered us bottled water! We even got a goody bag which included a bottle and pacifier - yay! The next store was much quicker as they have a much smaller selection. We still got a goody bag though! It was hard to resist buying all of the cute things though! I refrained from buying the tub toys that I really wanted, but I could not resist one of the books that we found. Hippos Go Berserk by Sandra Boynton just had to be mine - it was the last one on the shelf! =)
Here's hoping our next update will include pictures of a nearly finished nursery. Fingers Crossed!
On Saturday 10/3, we attended the transracial transcultural training seminar that our agency requires for all prospective parents looking to adopt a child from a race that is not their own. Grandparents are also encouraged to attend, so my mom & dad came along for the day. Some of what they talked about we had already heard in other meetings, but there was plenty of new info and things to think about. The best part of the day in my opinion was the panel of adult adoptees who had grown up in multi-racial families. I could have listened to them talk all day long.
We have not made much more progress on finishing the nursery. There are wallpaper cut outs to be installed, an outlet to replace, shelves to build, paint, and install in the closet, curtains and a light fixture to be bought & hung, a wall hanging to make, and I have to get started on a quilt. I have made a quilt for a lot of my friend's little ones, and I have got to make one for my own baby. I have one to finish still for a little guy that made his arrival in July (yikes!), and I need to make one (or three?) more for a friend (friends?) depending on how ambitious I am feeling.
Last Saturday, we went and registered at two stores. It was so fun! We were at the first place for nearly 3 hours. It was a little overwhelming at times, but we still had a great time. The staff was really helpful and offered us bottled water! We even got a goody bag which included a bottle and pacifier - yay! The next store was much quicker as they have a much smaller selection. We still got a goody bag though! It was hard to resist buying all of the cute things though! I refrained from buying the tub toys that I really wanted, but I could not resist one of the books that we found. Hippos Go Berserk by Sandra Boynton just had to be mine - it was the last one on the shelf! =)
Here's hoping our next update will include pictures of a nearly finished nursery. Fingers Crossed!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
The homestudy
Four and a half hours is a long time, and yet it felt much shorter.
I was a little surprised at the extent of questions pertaining to extended family. "How often do you communicate with your sister?" "How would you describe your relationship with your brother?" "How were you disciplined by your parents?"
My brain immediately supplied funny (to me) answers, which I rejected in favor of honest and straightforward answers. The rejected answers to the above questions: "Actually, we're permanently telepathically linked, and she doesn't care for your tone." "Strictly platonic, no matter what he tells you." "They turned me into a newt.... I got better."
I even made the interviewer get just a little sniffly at one point. She asked me to describe a highlight of my relationship with Ann... and I choked up trying to describe what I felt when I saw her in her bridal gown for the first time. I was so close to crying at the memory that all I could say about seeing her was, "The world stopped."
It did, incidentally. You may not have noticed, but only the grace of God kept us all on the planet.
Although there are still a few technicalities to work out (who knew that we would need to report the acreage of our property?), we have been told to consider ourselves "approved."
We could theoretically be "on the shelf" within days... and then it's just a matter of waiting until the next time the world stops.
--David
I was a little surprised at the extent of questions pertaining to extended family. "How often do you communicate with your sister?" "How would you describe your relationship with your brother?" "How were you disciplined by your parents?"
My brain immediately supplied funny (to me) answers, which I rejected in favor of honest and straightforward answers. The rejected answers to the above questions: "Actually, we're permanently telepathically linked, and she doesn't care for your tone." "Strictly platonic, no matter what he tells you." "They turned me into a newt.... I got better."
I even made the interviewer get just a little sniffly at one point. She asked me to describe a highlight of my relationship with Ann... and I choked up trying to describe what I felt when I saw her in her bridal gown for the first time. I was so close to crying at the memory that all I could say about seeing her was, "The world stopped."
It did, incidentally. You may not have noticed, but only the grace of God kept us all on the planet.
Although there are still a few technicalities to work out (who knew that we would need to report the acreage of our property?), we have been told to consider ourselves "approved."
We could theoretically be "on the shelf" within days... and then it's just a matter of waiting until the next time the world stops.
--David
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Two posts in one day?
Don't faint y'all!
But I have an update!
Our homestudy will be on September 15th starting at 3:30 PM. It is supposed to take 3-4 hours.
I'm already nervous.
But I have an update!
Our homestudy will be on September 15th starting at 3:30 PM. It is supposed to take 3-4 hours.
I'm already nervous.
Late...again.
I think we're just going to have to admit that we're terrible at meeting deadlines.
I would claim that I don't know where the time has gone since our last update, but I know where it went - we've been busy!
We took a 10-day vacation to Minneapolis-St.Paul and Northern Wisconsin at the start of August. We had so much fun babysitting Sweet Pea for a week. It was sort of a trial by fire as far as "test parenting" goes - a week with a two-year-old could have been a disaster BUT it was a blast! She is so much fun to be with, and we loved visiting with Ann's sister and her husband and his family.
As soon as we returned from that sojourn, we had a few days to prepare for the arrival of David's family. The "New York Invasion 2009" started with a 6-day visit from David's brother, his wife, and daughter - Eldest Niece. It was fun to have them around and spend time visiting with no real agenda. Whenever we go out east for a holiday there is always so much hubbub that we never get a chance to just sit & visit. Eldest Niece got to take part in the Indy Zoo Dolphin Encounter as an early birthday gift - it was really cool!
Two days after this New York contingent left, David's parents arrived for a 5-day stay. Yay! We love getting to see them every summer. We never plan to do very much, and that's just the way we all like it! We spent Sunday crawling around the local flea market looking for "treasures". Ann found a small antique platter for $1 - it was a great bargain! David got an early birthday gift from his parents when he found NFL baseball-style caps. He already owned 4, but I think he picked up 19 or 20 more for a great price. He was very excited to add to his collection!
Also, in exciting baby room news, we were able to order our crib from "The Red Dot Boutique" - aka Target - with free shipping (Yay for $107 saved!), and it arrived while David's parents were with us, so it was assembled while they were out. Now both sets of grandparents have helped create the baby's room in some way. =)
After all of that, the month of August was pretty well gone. However, last weekend, Ann sat down, put her nose to the grindstone and finished the scrapbook! Yay! It looks incredible - we are both very proud of what was created. On Monday, we were able to call the sgency and leave a message that we are ready to schedule our homestudy. We are still waiting for a return call. We'll update as soon as we know something.
I would claim that I don't know where the time has gone since our last update, but I know where it went - we've been busy!
We took a 10-day vacation to Minneapolis-St.Paul and Northern Wisconsin at the start of August. We had so much fun babysitting Sweet Pea for a week. It was sort of a trial by fire as far as "test parenting" goes - a week with a two-year-old could have been a disaster BUT it was a blast! She is so much fun to be with, and we loved visiting with Ann's sister and her husband and his family.
As soon as we returned from that sojourn, we had a few days to prepare for the arrival of David's family. The "New York Invasion 2009" started with a 6-day visit from David's brother, his wife, and daughter - Eldest Niece. It was fun to have them around and spend time visiting with no real agenda. Whenever we go out east for a holiday there is always so much hubbub that we never get a chance to just sit & visit. Eldest Niece got to take part in the Indy Zoo Dolphin Encounter as an early birthday gift - it was really cool!
Two days after this New York contingent left, David's parents arrived for a 5-day stay. Yay! We love getting to see them every summer. We never plan to do very much, and that's just the way we all like it! We spent Sunday crawling around the local flea market looking for "treasures". Ann found a small antique platter for $1 - it was a great bargain! David got an early birthday gift from his parents when he found NFL baseball-style caps. He already owned 4, but I think he picked up 19 or 20 more for a great price. He was very excited to add to his collection!
Also, in exciting baby room news, we were able to order our crib from "The Red Dot Boutique" - aka Target - with free shipping (Yay for $107 saved!), and it arrived while David's parents were with us, so it was assembled while they were out. Now both sets of grandparents have helped create the baby's room in some way. =)
After all of that, the month of August was pretty well gone. However, last weekend, Ann sat down, put her nose to the grindstone and finished the scrapbook! Yay! It looks incredible - we are both very proud of what was created. On Monday, we were able to call the sgency and leave a message that we are ready to schedule our homestudy. We are still waiting for a return call. We'll update as soon as we know something.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
The Meeting!
Last Wednesday, we had our all-day meeting at the agency. It was a recap of a lot of the info that we had received previously, but it's always good to hear the details again! We talked about the details of how the process works as far as getting chosen and meeting the birthmother. Then they took us through the steps of what happens after the baby is born and had us read the legal documents that she signs to relinquish custody as well as the ones that we sign to start the process of the legal adoption.
We also got to meet a couple that had recently adopted through the agency. It was a wonderful story, and their new son was so cute!
So, where are we headed from here? The next step is to get the scrapbook done (I have really got to STOP PROCRASTINATING!) and get our home study scheduled. We are hoping to have our home study completed by the end of August.
Oh, I'll throw this out there - if any of you have recent (last few years) pictures of David or me, can you e-mail them to me? We need lots of pictures of us and I don't have very many! Also, I'm looking for a few pictures of David & I at college and at our wedding - any & all help is greatly appreciated here! If you could get these to me by August 9th that would be super!!!
We also got to meet a couple that had recently adopted through the agency. It was a wonderful story, and their new son was so cute!
So, where are we headed from here? The next step is to get the scrapbook done (I have really got to STOP PROCRASTINATING!) and get our home study scheduled. We are hoping to have our home study completed by the end of August.
Oh, I'll throw this out there - if any of you have recent (last few years) pictures of David or me, can you e-mail them to me? We need lots of pictures of us and I don't have very many! Also, I'm looking for a few pictures of David & I at college and at our wedding - any & all help is greatly appreciated here! If you could get these to me by August 9th that would be super!!!
Monday, July 13, 2009
Yikes!
How has it been over a month since we updated???
We've apparently been busier than we thought!
We've got a full day meeting at our agency on July 22nd, and we are working furiously to get things done before then. My mom is helping us repaint the nursery and a dresser & chest for the room also. We installed smoke alarms & Fire extinguishers with my dad's help. I've cleaned all the carpets in the house except for the nursery, and I'll do that after we paint.
Still to do - gosh it's quite a list! We've got to put the room together, reassemble the living room, create the scrapbook, write autobiographies, take pictures for the scrapbook, and on top of that, some friends of ours just had a baby & I've got to go meet the new addition - soon!!!
We'll be sure to post about the meeting on the 22nd! Until then, thanks to everyone for all of your help & prayers!
We've apparently been busier than we thought!
We've got a full day meeting at our agency on July 22nd, and we are working furiously to get things done before then. My mom is helping us repaint the nursery and a dresser & chest for the room also. We installed smoke alarms & Fire extinguishers with my dad's help. I've cleaned all the carpets in the house except for the nursery, and I'll do that after we paint.
Still to do - gosh it's quite a list! We've got to put the room together, reassemble the living room, create the scrapbook, write autobiographies, take pictures for the scrapbook, and on top of that, some friends of ours just had a baby & I've got to go meet the new addition - soon!!!
We'll be sure to post about the meeting on the 22nd! Until then, thanks to everyone for all of your help & prayers!
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