Nothing much has really changed. Still waiting.
We did change our preference with the agency though to an open adoption OR a semi-open adoption. In the past, we just went with semi-open. In talking with our co-ordinator though, most of the adoptions in the past year were open.
What does this mean?
It means that the birthmom and ourselves will have more direct access to one another. All contact will not have to be filtered by the agency. We will share an e-mail address with her and most likely one of our cell phone numbers. We could arrange to see her at a location away from the agency offices. We can still meet at the agency, and their counselors will be available to us at any time. If the open-ness of the relationship becomes an issue, the agency will gladly step in to help all parties reach a satisfactory state of being.
It's a little scary to be that open about letting a "stranger" into our lives in this way, but this person will really not be a stranger. We'll be connected in the most awesome way.
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While the process is open, what does that mean for the post adoption relationship?
ReplyDeleteMy co-worker adopted 2 boys from S. Korea, so his situation is in many ways very different... so he met the foster mom that took care of the youngest, but not the actual bio mom.
I continue to pray for you guys!
With our agency, it is expected that we attempt to maintain a relationship with the birthmom until the child is 18. We will agree to meet X number of times a year (usually just 1), and to exchange letters/pictures Y number of times a year (usually 1 or 2).
ReplyDeleteWe are expected to maintain this schedule without fail. If the birthmom decides to not show up for a meeting or not write a letter there is nothing that we can do. If we fail to show up for a meeting or send a scheduled letter, the agency will pursue us to keep up our end of the bargain.
Glad that they were open with you about making changes and hopefully this is what it takes to make a difference. I know if it going to happen, I hope this makes it sooner for you guys! We pray for you and your future baby nightly! LOVE YOU!
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